There is a very specific kind of adult ADHD moment where you have 17 things to do, all of them feel urgent, and somehow you are doing… none of them.
You are not relaxing. Oh no. That would be far too peaceful. 😂
You are sitting there mentally cycling through:
“I need to answer that email. But first I should pay that bill. Actually I need to make that appointment. Wait, did I move the laundry? I should probably clean the kitchen before I start work. WHY IS MY PHONE AT 3%? I need groceries. I forgot to text her back. Maybe I should make a proper list…”
Forty-five minutes later you have a beautiful new list, three browser tabs open, a cold coffee and absolutely no idea what just happened.
Welcome to ADHD overwhelm.
Overwhelm is not the same thing as having “too much to do”
Anybody can become overwhelmed when life gets busy. ADHD can add another layer because adults with ADHD may have difficulty with things like staying organized, completing lengthy tasks, managing attention and controlling behaviour. Research also finds group-level differences in several areas of executive functioning and working memory in adults with ADHD.
Important little science note before the internet turns that into “everyone with ADHD has a broken executive-function system”: not every person with ADHD has the same cognitive profile. Research findings describe averages across groups, not a checklist that every individual must match.
But in everyday life, difficulties with prioritizing, holding several pieces of information in mind, shifting between tasks and deciding where to begin can make a normal list feel like somebody dumped a filing cabinet onto your brain.
Why does “just pick one thing” sometimes feel impossible?
Because the problem may not be knowing that you need to do something.
You KNOW.
In fact, you may know about all 14 things simultaneously. 😂
The harder part can be turning a pile of competing demands into a clear sequence:
What matters first? What can wait? What is the actual first physical action? When do I stop one task and move to the next?
When every task is floating around your head at the same volume, your brain can spend more energy managing the pile than actually starting anything in it.
The ADHD Overwhelm Rescue Plan
1. Get it OUT of your head
Your brain is a terrible place to store 27 reminders while also trying to use that same brain to work.
Do a brain dump. Paper, notes app, whiteboard — I do not care if you write it on the back of a grocery receipt. Get every “don’t forget” out where you can see it.
The first list does not need to be organized. Its only job is to stop your brain from repeatedly yelling the same reminders at you like an unpaid intern with a megaphone.
2. Make three categories: MUST, SHOULD, COULD
This is where we stop pretending all tasks deserve equal panic.
MUST: has a real consequence or deadline today.
SHOULD: important, but civilization will continue if it happens tomorrow.
COULD: would be nice, but absolutely does not get to bully you while the MUST list is on fire.
And yes, “reorganize the spice cupboard because suddenly the paprika situation feels unacceptable” is probably a COULD. 😂
3. Shrink the first step until it feels almost ridiculous
“Do taxes” is not a first step.
“Find the tax folder” is.
“Clean the house” is not a first step.
“Put the dishes in the dishwasher” is.
“Fix my entire business” is, regrettably, not something we are completing before lunch.
“Open the email I have been avoiding” might be.
When a task feels huge, define the next visible action, not the whole project.
4. Stop building fantasy schedules
Ah yes, the ADHD schedule:
8:00 — answer 42 emails
8:15 — clean entire house
8:30 — become financially independent
8:45 — meal prep for the week
9:00 — casually achieve inner peace
We need to stop doing this to ourselves. 😂
Give tasks more time than your optimistic brain thinks they need. Leave space between things. If you finish early, congratulations — you have accidentally created free time instead of another reason to feel behind.
5. Use one visible “NOW” task
Once you choose the task, hide the giant master list for a minute.
Write the current task on a sticky note, put it beside the computer or make it the only note visible on your phone.
NOW: send invoice to Sarah.
Not “work stuff.” Not “admin.” One thing.
When that is done, choose the next NOW.
6. Reduce decisions before you add motivation
Sometimes we think we need to feel more motivated when what we really need is fewer choices.
If you have ten possible places to begin, choose three. If three still feels like too many, choose one. Put the rest somewhere safe so you are not constantly renegotiating the entire day.
7. Try company when starting alone is the problem
Some adults find it easier to begin boring or intimidating tasks when another person is quietly present — in person or on a call. You may hear people call this “body doubling.” It is a popular practical strategy, although research specifically testing it as an ADHD intervention is still limited.
If it helps you start, great. It does not have to be more complicated than: “I am doing this horrible admin task for 20 minutes. Sit here and make sure I don’t disappear into Instagram.” 😂
Overwhelm is information
Instead of treating overwhelm as proof that you are failing, try treating it as a signal:
There are too many inputs. The task is too vague. The priority is unclear. The first step is too big. Or my brain needs a break before it can make another decision.
That gives you something you can actually work with.
And if difficulty concentrating, organizing, starting or completing tasks is persistent and interfering with work, relationships or daily life, talk with a qualified healthcare professional. ADHD is diagnosed through a clinical assessment; a chaotic Tuesday and 47 sticky notes are not, by themselves, a diagnosis.
Today’s challenge
Do not fix your whole life today.
Pick one thing that would make the rest of today easier.
Then make the first step so small your brain has trouble arguing with it.
And if you get distracted halfway through and find yourself researching the best container for storing batteries?
Come back. We were doing the thing. 😂
Sources & further reading:
CDC: ADHD in Adults — cdc.gov
Boonstra et al., executive functioning in adult ADHD: a meta-analytic review — PubMed
Alderson et al., ADHD and working memory in adults: a meta-analytic review — PubMed